{"id":1514,"date":"2013-08-01T10:12:00","date_gmt":"2013-08-01T10:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quantum.closelycoded.site\/?p=1514"},"modified":"2024-10-14T09:14:43","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T09:14:43","slug":"leaning-light","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/events.cqt.sg\/shorts\/entry\/leaning-light\/","title":{"rendered":"The Leaning Light"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"submit-data\">Submitted by <strong>Andrew J. Manera<\/strong><br>on November 16, 2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>QUANTUM SHORTS 2013: SHORTLISTED, OPEN CATEGORY<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kid\u2019s nodding along like he knows what I\u2019m talking about.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He\u2019s got no idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The light goes on, I flick the switch. That\u2019s it, that\u2019s what I do. Got my fifteen years of service last March. The work\u2019s not hard and it pays well for what it is; dental, disability, it\u2019s all included. Not bad for a guy like me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Couple a months ago, the manager calls me into her office. I\u2019m nervous at first, right? But then she starts talking about how I\u2019ve been with the company for a long time; says I\u2019m always on time, making quota, that sort of thing. She tells me there\u2019s an opening on nights and she wants me to take it. Pay\u2019s better. Work\u2019s the same. It\u2019s a great opportunity, she says.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So I say yes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First couple a nights aren\u2019t so bad. I keep to myself mostly, settle in to the new schedule. But something feels different, something I can\u2019t quite put my finger on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People up there\u2019ve been around for a long time you see, some a lot longer than me. I mean forty and fifty years of service is the norm up there. That\u2019s a lot of time spent flicking switches, you know? And some of them, some of the older folk I mean, are\u2026 well, they\u2019re pretty superstitious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They act like flicking the switch actually does something. Or means something. Like it matters whether you flick the switch left or right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re re-routing energy, the kid tells me. The light goes on\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ve seen the damn training video.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re making decisions I tell him. At least, that\u2019s what the folks working the night shift believe. A week in they tell me the light goes on whenever there\u2019s a decision to be made, and we make that decision by flicking the switch. Left or right\u2019s really yes or no. I know how it sounds. Just bear with me. So even if we\u2019re just making quota, that\u2019s twenty-five thousand decisions we\u2019re making every day. And there\u2019re floors full of us switch-flickers here! Well what the hell are we deciding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t look at me like that. I know you don\u2019t know. Nobody knows.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I asked around but all I got were blank stares. No, not blank. They just got all quiet, like I wasn\u2019t supposed to bring it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do yourself a favour, one guy said, and don\u2019t even think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well how was I supposed to do that? Every time I sat in front of that light I was thinking about what kind of decision I was making and who I was making it for. Got to a point where I couldn\u2019t do it anymore. I couldn\u2019t flick the switch. I just sat there, staring at the light until the end of my shift. I missed quota that day. First time ever.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I missed it the next day too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the day after that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s when one of the night shifters told me about leaning. She said if I let the light sit long enough it\u2019d start to lean left or right, as if whatever was on the other side was trying to help me make up my mind. Like there was an awareness there or something.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She said it took practice to recognize, and warned it wouldn\u2019t happen all the time, but she said it was worth watching for. She said it might help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It took me three weeks to spot my first lean. It was just a little flicker, you know, a little flash along one side of the filament, but it was enough. Left. The light wanted me to flick the switch left. I was so excited I could barely stand it. I flicked the switch and finally felt some relief. It wasn\u2019t me making the decisions anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But then I started thinking about what I\u2019d done. About what I\u2019d just said yes to. I couldn\u2019t help it. I thought maybe it was just some kid out on a date, you know? Some kid keen on kissing the girl he was with. I felt pretty good then. Thinking that I was the one that pushed him towards yes, and that he kissed that girl because of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But then I thought, what if it was some guy on a bridge, wondering if he should jump. What if he was leaning over the edge and I was the one that pushed him over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The light came on again and my hands started shaking. I couldn\u2019t sit, I couldn\u2019t stand, I couldn\u2019t be anywhere near that light. So I left. I just got up and left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That got me a warning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Missing my next shift got me sent back here. The manager was all apologetic doing it too, like it was her fault or something. Then she started talking about counselling and coverage and how she knew somebody she could recommend, but I wasn\u2019t listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I left without saying a word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The break horn sounds and the kid downs the last of his coffee. He nods at me politely but doesn\u2019t say anything as he leaves. He\u2019ll probably be laughing at me for the rest of his shift. Laughing as he re-routes his energy this way and that, oblivious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I sit down at my desk, the light\u2019s already on, waiting for me. I sit there for a while, watching to see if it\u2019ll lean one way or the other, waiting to see if it\u2019ll make the decision for me. But it doesn\u2019t. And then I think, who\u2019s looking at my light while I sit here? Who\u2019s gonna make my decision?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Will it be that kid, flicking his switch towards some quota, or somebody like me, wondering who\u2019s on the other side of their light?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I hope it\u2019s the kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Flick.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-1\" style=\"color:#df6523\">About the Author<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Andrew J. Manera is an arts administrator, educator, husband, and father. He used to be a scientist. Perhaps one day he&#8217;ll be a writer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrew J. Manera<br \/>\nNovember 16, 2013<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"desc\">If you just wait a while and stare, the light will tell you what to do&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"img-box-badge-shortlist\">Shortlisted<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"categ\">Open<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":260,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-1514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entry","tag-fiction-shortlisted"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Leaning Light - Quantum Shorts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/events.cqt.sg\/shorts\/entry\/leaning-light\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Leaning Light - Quantum Shorts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"by Andrew J. 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